how do I get a copy of a will of a family deceased member

can she change the directions of what was in his will?

Yes, as things went to her at the time of his death unless anything was stipulated to be given out to other family members. Your mother is legally correct to rewrite her own will and this needs to be found. If there is a personal representative or Power of Attorney in the family that is taking care of her current needs such as checking and paying statements they will be in charge of reading her will if found.

Your comment of: if technically she does not "own" the home but its in our names with her with right to use, then does this protect it from being sold to pay for her care until Medicaid kicks in?

Yes, your ok as the patient is allowed to have the home at it not count. It is obvious that someone took the time to work with her and re-deed the home to the children and give her the "life time" rights to live there. So it can not be touched due to Medicare. It is out of her name and in yours. They can take any assets such as CD's or Cash or retirement from Social Security.

Your comment of:if it really is in her name, then we know we have to sell it to continue to pay her nursing home costs.

You need to find out for sure whose name it is in. You implied above that it was in yours. So she is fine with the life time rights. If not in her name then you need to change this but it may also be too late as there is a 3-5 waiting period for transfer.

Your comment of:if it really is in her name, then we know we have to sell it to continue to pay her nursing home costs.

Who has been paying the taxes and taking care of her bills.......this person must have a power of attorney to access her bank and accounts. Find out who is paying the tax. You can go to the local property appraisers office to find all this out. The clerk of the court may have some recorded deed from your father and her as well but this would not be the original.
If my answer has raised more questions then feel free to reply I will be glad to further assist you.

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I think I probably confused you a bit: my father supposedly in his will stipulated that the house was to go to the 3 daughters but with my mom having lifetime rights. after my father's death, my mom was upset that the house did not go outright to her (even though we kids did not have any intention of putting her out of the house) so she said she made up her own will that made the house hers and then she would leave to us. but could she really do this? Now she is mentally incapacitated so we can not find this "will". My older sister is her power of attorney and she can not find it either. my older sister pays all the bills etc. I never thought about the real estate tax bill. I don't think my sister thought to look at whose name it was in.

Your comment of: in his will stipulated that the house was to go to the 3 daughters but with my mom having lifetime rights. after my father's death, my mom was upset that the house did not go outright to her (even though we kids did not have any intention of putting her out of the house) so she said she made up her own will that made the house hers and then she would leave to us.

Was this his original wife and your biological mother. If so then at the death of your father the house would resort to his spouse with or without the will. If you feel your mom made a will then you need to locate it. As I mentioned earlier the tax bill will indeed show who is the owner of the home and if your sister is the Power of Attorney then she at some time had to have access to or with your mom and any will. It sounds as though your dad did not have a will and it passed to your mom. Lifetime rights would be given by the POA or the children once the house has been changed over. This is what is known as estate planning and is the common course of action.

I suggest you get with your sister to go to the property appraisers office and check things. You also need her as a Durable Power of Attorney for after your moms death to take care of matters.

If I may be of further assistance then please reply.

Edited by 4ren6 on August 19 2006 at 12:28pm

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